I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
