Jerry, you need to find god
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
