Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
50% drunk capacity currently
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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