it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
