I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
