I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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