I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
