im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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