so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
