am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize