Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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