do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
