I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
