Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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