wakey wakey hands off snakey
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize