The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
