Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
