my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
