No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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