It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
