I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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