dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
