I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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