my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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