There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
