remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
