Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
