"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
