I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
