Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
That reminds me...we need to get swords
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize