Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
