I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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