I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
