Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
