goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
