you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
