I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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