That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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