You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
