Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
