question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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