I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
