Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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