Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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