i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
