My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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