Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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