Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
