A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize