I wish I could teleport
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I want a musical about memes.
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