I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize