Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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