I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
