If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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