Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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