I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
