Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
