also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
did i just pee glitter
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
