Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I enjoy the company of your penis
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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