Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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