Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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