dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
