there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
