i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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