You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
