i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
