Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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