so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
