Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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