You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
vagina is talking i cant
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
