he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
