One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I will die if light touches me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
