he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
